Week 7: Finalizing Midterm Essays & Onwards!

May your essays grow all the roots, leaves, and branches they need to become a perfect expression of yourselves. Good luck with revision!

Hello class,

It was a pleasure to read your rough drafts! I've finished offering my own review of all of your writing, and hope the notes you receive from me and others assist you to finalize your essay. Finish these up and post to the Final Drafts forum on Blackboard by Tuesday night. This essay is worth 20% of your final grade.

This week, you'll read writing by three of the most famous contemporary nonfiction writers: Dave Eggers, Susan Orlean, and Norman Mailer. You'll also complete two writing prompts: one for Tuesday, one for Thursday.

Next week, you'll be introduced to new peer groups. These will be the writers you work with through the close of the semester. I'll be matching you based on a sense of who might benefit from working together, and to that end, if any of you have requests about who you'd like to work with this time around, feel free to email me and let me know. I'll do my best to accomodate your requests.

Also, since we're about midway through the semester, feel free to email me for requests of mailed grade sheets (include a mailing address). I can photocopy your grade sheets and mail them off after midterm essays have been graded.

Happy Writing!

-AP

Week 6: Rough Drafts & Peer Review

Hi class,

Welcome to your first essay-writing week! With 12 blog posts under your belt, each of you certainly have a lot of great material to choose from! As you can see on your Week 6 checklist, the only requirements for this essay are 1) you will develop one of your blog posts rather than starting something new, 2) you will develop the post to 5-6 pages double-spaced in Times New Roman 12 font, 3) you will keep your information non-fiction (true to life), and 4) you will cite any borrowed information in correct MLA format if you include research.

Since you have gotten feedback from classmates on all your writing, you already know which posts may have the most potential for this essay project. Some of you have written far beyond the 3 paragraph minimum, which means you might be quite near the finish point of 5-6 pages already. You can revise, re-organize, or rephrase your post writing for the purposes of this essay - just make sure you stick to the same subject matter. Also, you may combine more than one post if you feel you'd like to collage some of your writing together.

You'll be posting rough drafts of your essay to BLACKBOARD (Discussion Board) by tonight. The minimum length for rough drafts is 3-4 pages. On Thursday, you'll leave feedback for your group members on Blackboard. To offer feedback, simply reply to the thread of the essay you are responding to. That way, each writer will have a collection of feedback directly attached to their own writing. Also note that requirements for peer review given for major essays are different than guidelines for blog reviews. Review your syllabus for specific instructions.

For this major essay, you will receive feedback from me during the rough draft phase. I will send an email notifying the class when I've finished posting comments for everyone - this might not be until the end of the weekend.

Finally, I'd like to point out some Greatest Hits from last week... read these great posts for inspiration before you write your essays. :-)

Greatest Hits

Nynn's post, "Epileptic Seizures"
http://lafraser.blogspot.com/2011/02/prompt-15-epileptic-seizures.html

In this post, Nynn's simply-stated, direct, descriptive writing does wonders to set a tone of seriousness about the scene she describes. Her writing is plot-driven, propelled forward by action and story... a reader feels they are right in the scene, standing in Nynn's shoes. For that reason, I also admire the perspective from which Nynn speaks. She avoids describing her own reactions, rather, she trusts the reader to have similar reactions to her own, if only they saw what she saw. I especially appreciate her second paragraph for setting up sufficient context... we learn just enough about why she's there, how she's supposed to act, and how she wonders about her ability to handle ER scenarios, to "get into" the story. Later, her details about an epileptic patient are so thorough, so precise, that a reader can visualize the scene and feel incredibly interested. Wonderful work, Nynn!


John's post, "Cultural Tastes"
http://jasmit8.blogspot.com/2011/02/prompt-14-cultural-tastes.html

GO. READ. THIS. POST.


Leena's post, "Hemophobia"
http://leenawalker.blogspot.com/2011/02/hemophobia-prompt-15.html

Much of what I enjoyed about Leena's post is described above, in response to Nynn's post. Both writers excel in their ability to tell a story with precise, vivid detail - to the point of convincing readers that we are "watching", as though faced with a movie. I especially like Leena's use of voice in this post, since it's important for her audience to get to "know" her as a central character of her story. This is an amazing story about the horrors of witnessing an accident, especially since it's the kind that led to fatalities. Notice, especially, Leena's accurately described conclusion... rather than moving into a reflective or summary mode, she reports, "My friend and I watched as each (person) was checked once more for a pulse then put in a bag and onto a stretcher. I felt sick. I ran to the opposite side of the road and vomited. My friend came to hold my hair as I sobbed and puked. There was so much blood..." Writers: there's nothing wrong with writing about puking. Thank you, Leena, for your honesty, and for your excellent storytelling!


Kayla's, "The 'Grabber' Grabber"
http://kbailey-danceintherain.blogspot.com/2011/02/grabber-grabber-prompt-15.html

This is one of Kayla's best posts yet. In it, she tells a complete and enjoyable childhood story about a classroom snitch. Her writing is precise, detailed, and beautifully edited. I love learning about Grabbers, the justice-minded actions of 5th graders, and a Grabber funeral. Kayla's sense of style plays a major role in making this story interesting... childhood stories can easily become "cutesy", "sentimental", or otherwise lesser in literary value. Kayla's use of description, voice, and characterization, however, makes this much more than merely a childhood memory. I could actually see this story being part of a wonderfully entertaining young adult or children's novel, such is the pleasure of the text and the authenticity of the telling. Great work, Kayla!

Thanks to John, Kayla, Nynn, and Taliena for writing some fantastic posts last week!

We'll get back to more blog writing once we finish work on the midterm essays.

Writing Tip of the Week
Rough Drafts Can Be Fun and Easy

When writing rough drafts, you might find yourself thinking about what you ought to do. Stop thinking so hard! Choose what you love and go with your instincts. Practicing writing, reading published writing, and peer reviewing the work of your classmates are tasks that have prepared you well to jump right into this midterm assignment. There's nothing wrong with trying to develop three different posts... see which one starts to feel easiest to work with and choose later!
There's nothing wrong with taking a perfectly written/edited post from your blog, and adding little else if it already meets length requirements. That's the advantage of writing more thoroughly for your homework assignments! On the other hand, if you have more rough material from your posts than finished material, there's nothing wrong with cleaning up the phrasing, writing, organization, etc, in order to complete the strongest version of your essay. Do you see where I'm going with this? :-)

Only you can make this stressful, and only you can make it fun. I suggest you choose "fun". And if you have any questions along the way, I'm happy to assist you.

I'm looking forward to reading your rough drafts! Good luck!

-AP

Week 5: Nearing Midterm

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hi all

This week offers you a final two writing opportunities before you develop your Midterm essay. Take time to brainstorm before writing responses to Prompts 14 & 15 this week... maybe you can apply some of the techniques you've learned so far this semester in creative and exciting ways.

This will also be your last couple of weeks to work with your current peer group members - enjoy it! After midterm, we'll switch groups and you'll get to meet other, amazing classmates.

Next week, check in on the blog to prepare yourselves for a slightly different schedule of work. I'll be introducing your first major essay assignment. Feel free to get a head start on writing this week. However, you won't be posting your rough drafts to Blackboard until early next week. (See the midterm assignment guidelines under your Week 6 Checklist/Tuesday, February 22nd.)

Below are Greatest Hits from last week & a weekly writing tip.

Happy Writing!
-AP

Greatest Hits

Alyssa's, "What a Place Is and How a Place Seems"

http://thebassyla.blogspot.com/2011/02/what-place-is-and-how-place-seems.html

In Alyssa's Writer's Journal post on "Pyongyang", she writes, "Although I am not a graphic novel writer, there are still elements I can use in my own writing. I would be curious how to write a story using pictures to set the scene rather than descriptions. I also wonder how to flow in and out of the picture use." In her writing based on Prompt 13, Alyssa seems to explore an answer to her own question. I love her topic: life on the Arizona/Mexico border. Certainly, her images make her thoughts even clearer. They also serve as evocative transitions between short passages of writing. Best yet, they provide support for her sense that the stigma about the AZ/Mexico border, caused by political arguments, seems somehow besides the point. Her final thought is provocative and original; she wonders (in reflection about the border fence) how "it seems so silly to have created such fear and intimidation over something so simple standing in front of me." Thanks to her use of images, she makes a great point.

Jesus' post, "it takes me forever to get anywhere"

http://cynicalgraycrayon.blogspot.com/2011/02/11-it-takes-me-forever-to-get-anywhere.html

Jesus' creativity in imagining his trip never taken is astonishing. What astonishes me is his ability to utilize this particular prompt as a method of sincere & authentic personal storytelling. His trip never taken doesn't romanticize place, rather, it laments a sibling relationship that continues onward with a sense of unrealized potential. This is a powerful story that is heartfelt and moving; it's interesting due to the skillful writing as well as the engaging personal story. When we, as writers, make a commitment to truly share our lives, our stories, our feelings and thoughts... the content is richer than any gold mine. An audience feels honored to have shared in the experience of the writer, through reading. This is the accomplishment of Jesus' post. See, also, his most recent post, "Superfly", which is the first attempt of the course at writing in the form of a graphic novel: http://cynicalgraycrayon.blogspot.com/2011/02/13-superfly-or-if-i-only-had-brain.html. This is an enjoyable story that's wonderfully illustrated. If anyone else feels they'd like to try to write in graphic novel form, feel free to post the media to your blog using Google Docs, just as Jesus did.

Katie's posts, "A Trip [Not Taken] To My Homeland" & "A Monsoon"

http://xkatie-ann.blogspot.com/

I've marked two separate posts from Katie for this week because they both illustrate important writing accomplishments. In "A Trip Not Taken...", Katie writes a vivid and likable description of a trip-not-taken en route to Japan. As a half-Japanese-American woman, Katie tips us off to a certain identity struggle. On one hand, she sees Japan as a part of her heritage. On the other hand, she's been called "Americanized" by a Japanese born American person - a word that marks her as, perhaps, less Japanese culturally than he/she is. Considerations of identity, especially as they apply to culture, race, or gender, are powerful as topics of personal writing. I see this post as the potential beginning of a fascinating longer essay, in which Katie discusses her identity in relation to her mother, her father, her heritage, her personality, etc. In "A Monsoon", Katie creates an image so well-described and vivid, readers can feel they are looking outside their own windows. I love the patience with which this scene is developed.

Nicola's post, "Foregrounding Place"

http://honmana.blogspot.com/2011/02/foregrounding-place.html

Nicola's brief, yet unfinished, post about place is being highlighted today for it's potential, and for its great topic. What Nicola does well is transition seamlessly between topics that have to do with many things, all within single posts: her personal life, culture, and beliefs/opinions often appear as topics. In the past, Nicola has related information about being a traditional Hopi woman. As no one else in the class identifies as such, she deserves to know that even her writing about simple scenes from her life, family members, or cultural events are of utmost interest. This particular post sets up a feeling of longing for home. Whether home is the Hopi reservation or a high-rise in Manhattan, all readers can identify with the feeling they have upon approaching "home" after a long while. Because Nicola's written about her personal and very specific scene of re-accessing home, it lends to a universal feeling for all us that can imagine, or long for, "home". I imagine this paragraph could be expanded to a lovely, descriptive personal essay about place.

Thanks Alyssa, Jesus, Katie, & Nicola for sharing your work!

Writing Tip of the Week:

Remember to Write Physical Description of Characters

When young, we were told "it's what's on the inside that counts" or "don't judge a book by it's cover". This was society's way of teaching us not to dehumanize others based on our stereotypes or perceptions of who they could be based on pre-judgement.

I think this lesson carries over into story writing far too often. Writers sometimes cringe to describe the "looks" of a character, especially when they're writing about someone that truly exists, because we're afraid a reader will "judge" the characters based on appearance. We sometimes call characters, "beautiful", "tall", or "thin", but even these cues are vague.

Why not describe characters specifically, in ways that give readers a distinct visual image? If I were describing Einstein in his later years, for instance, I might say to readers, "He was old, with a curious face, a black mustache, and a wild mane of gray hair that looked as if he'd just stuck a fork in a socket".

Trust your readers to like your characters, no matter what they look like, unless you depict them as otherwise unlikeable. You're great, now, at describing scene, dialogue, personalities... so go ahead and use description as a tool for creating faces and bodies for your characters. The more specific your description, the better.

Week 4: Greatest Hits

Hello class,

Welcome back from what was hopefully a very nice weekend. :-)

Last week presented two particularly advanced writing assignments... both were meant to stretch you as writers, prompting you to explore new ways of writing, even if that meant your end result would be imperfect. Different students will feel "stretched" by different assignments... the important thing is that you give yourselves the room to explore new subject matter, new forms, and new styles of writing. (When in doubt, keep your writing and subject matter simple. There's nothing wrong with that!)

Your class continues to do a great job with these writing assignments.

Let's look at a few of the Greatest Hits from last week...


Matt's post, "Angelo: The Refuse Messiah"
http://oneguytwodeserts.blogspot.com/2011/02/9-angelo-refuse-messiah.html

Those of you who are in Matt's Peer Group know as well as I do that all of Matt's writing is impactful, wonderfully written, and worth a read. In this particular piece, though, I think Matt achieves an extraordinary feat in giving life to a barebones news article. In it, Matt imagines the psychological state of a real-life character named Angelo, about whom a news story was written. I don't want to ruin the subject matter for readers, because the surprise of it is part of the pleasure of reading. As writers, we can learn from Matt's use of inner dialogue and back story. For Angelo, the inner voice is of utmost consequence. This is true for most human characters, and yet, as writers, we often neglect to describe the inner landscape of how main characters are feeling, what they're thinking, and what memories rumble loudest as the present and future approach. Matt's writing is also descriptive, clear, and efficient - he reminds us of the power details have in bringing stories to life.


Nynn's post, "A Night to Remember"
http://lafraser.blogspot.com/2011/02/prompt-8-night-to-remember.html

"A Night to Remember" is Nynn's response to the challenge of writing in a lyric style that corresponds to a particular song. What's most interesting about this post, for me, is the form: Nynn chose to write in sections with headings that resemble a soundtrack, or a Mix CD playlist. The song titles themselves evoke the odd type of DJing that's reserved for wedding receptions only - where else do you hear everything from Lil Jon to Dirty Dancing? Nynn's story works to, eventually, profile an acquaintance named Brian, who drinks too much, starts dancing, and eventually picks her up only to crash them both onto the floor. It's a great moment to write about, and feels to be connected to a larger piece of storytelling that readers would love to read. Nynn's voice and style are authentic; we get a great sense about who the narrator is. She also does an amazing job developing setting at the outset of the essay.


John's post, "My man Charlie Sheen"
http://jasmit8.blogspot.com/2011/02/prompt-9-my-man-charlie-sheen.html

Speaking of authentic voice and style, I'd like for everyone to take a look at "My man Charlie Sheen". In this post, John's storytelling is voice-driven. This is a mode of storytelling that can work great for anyone who has a highly developed personal style and voice. His writing conveys an original perspective, argument, and style. His train of thought is associative... as readers, we are able to see the connections between his topics and thoughts, and find interest in them, because to many of us, the topics and thoughts are unusual and surprising. There's also an odd, delightful humor to this... a reader can't be sure whether the writer has written this argument satirically or not, but it sure does seem satirical. Best of all, the humor in this piece doesn't undermine the heart in it. For all the news that's been circulating about Charlie Sheen, this is the best (and funniest) account I've read yet.


Chelsee's post, "I am... the spitting image of my father..."
http://chelsee926.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-amthe-spitting-image-of-my-father-and.html

I love this post for the subject matter; Chelsee decided to tell a highly personal story in a wonderfully honest way. Throughout the writing, Chelsee describes her experience of having two fathers: one, who raised her, and another biological father whom she just met recently. Typically, this type of subject matter is discussed, by writers, in more dramatic ways. In contrast, Chelsee is forthright, and conveys a tone of gratitude and appreciation. In truth, this story is a book's worth, briefly outlined in a short blog post; I could imagine this same subject being fleshed out to thirty pages or more. My favorite line: "I always knew I never really looked like any one in my family so the first time I met my father's side of the family, it was an amazing feeling to actually see people that looked like me." This detail is so intimate, honest, and tender, as other descriptions in the story also are.


Great work Matt, Nynn, John, and Chelsee! Thanks for contributing some wonderful writing to our class blogs!

Writing Tip of the Week
Many peer reviewers find themselves pointing out what they like and admire in student posts, while avoiding sharing messages about problematic aspects of the writing. The reason you do your Peer Group a service by sharing BOTH praise and constructive criticism is because you help writers differentiate their best from their least best, and steer them towards their strengths. You also make writers aware of choices they make that are, unbeknownst to them, pleasurable or unpleasurable to certain readers. This will help your peer group members become even better writers, get even better grades, and maybe even get published some day... don't you want to be a part of that? :-)

If you find yourself shirking away from constructive criticism in your peer reviews, I have a suggestion for you. Why not use a particular method for ALL peer review posts, so that your group members see you are offering feedback impartially? Two great methods are:

1) Talk about 2 good aspects of the writing for every 1 bad aspect when you peer review. In this way, a 6 sentence peer review paragraph would contain at least two messages of constructive criticism.

2) For each writer, divide your critique into "Strengths" and "Weaknesses", offering some feedback for each category.

Your Peer Group will be grateful for the honest response!

Week 3: Clarification & Greatest Hits

Hi class!

It's great to see how well you all continue to do with the coursework. I'd like to clarify a few quick points before discussing some of last week's Greatest Hits (Thanks Kayla, Rebecca, Miranda, & Jesus for writing some outstanding posts that we get to enjoy and learn from!). Bravo to everyone for making it so hard for me to pick only a few Greatest Hits per week! I'm getting used to the fact that this class is full of very talented storytellers.

Some notes as you continue working:

*Remember to complete the Writer's Journal posts to the standard explicated in your syllabus, which is exampled for you in the Class website blog post for Week 1. Points from Writer's Journal posts add up, and completing it to the standard I've asked is an excellent way to better your writing by becoming more thoughtful about writerly choices.

*When giving feedback to your Writers' Groups at the beginning of each week, make sure you respond to the correct posts. Some of you will be reviewing blogs after other classmates post their Tuesday writing assignments... make sure to check dates so you review posts from the week previous only. This will be of great assistance to your group members.

*Strive for clarity in your titles and writing. Since the prompts you're responding to allow you to be creative, it's important you share important "background information", if any, with your readers at the outset. For instance, though the prompts are titled and numbered, it will be helpful if you develop an appropriate title for your piece, outside of simply stating the prompt name or number. Do share the prompt number in your "Title", and do share an original title of your own that works to introduce your piece. If and when prompts ask you to choose an imagined experience/place/person/etc (ex. Prompt 6), do write a short introductory passage that makes your readers aware of what imagined stance you've chosen to write from.

*If you miss a class session, move on to the current assignment. A few of you are still catching up but, if you recall from the syllabus, there is no credit given for late-posted assignments (unless you were a Late Add: John). Your best option is to stay on top of current and future coursework to avoid exceeding the allowable number of absences for the course.

This week, you'll read important chapters in your textbook which teach about craft. Learning about the craft of writing helps us to become more aware of the choices other writers are making (which can help us peer review with specificity and confidence), and also helps us learn about choices we ourselves can make, as writers, to create a more enjoyable or clear reading experience for our audiences.

You'll also offer peer review to your writers' groups and continue to post new work to your blog.

Happy writing, and enjoy the week!

-AP

Greatest Hits

Miranda's post, "Terror Child"
In this post, Miranda conveys an enjoyable - and honest - story from the point of view of herself as a child. Thanks to her specificity, strong use of description, and excellent composition of a beginning, middle, and end, this piece feels complete. Miranda teaches us about the importance of using character dialogue and inner dialogue to create interest. Notice how useful it is for us as readers to learn about what the child is thinking... Miranda leaves no mystery about the thoughts, emotions, and motives of her child self, but does leave a perfect feeling of mystery at the conclusion of her writing... we learn that she was lectured, reprimanded, and left "sulking over... failed efforts to drive the witch from [their] lives forever". As readers, we learn at the beginning of this story that the "witch" is the "woman who later become [Miranda's] step-mother". We know, then, that the child Miranda never did get rid of the witch, and feel curious about what happens to Miranda, her step-mother, and father at other points in time as they attempt to become a family. The feeling of subtle mystery that's created at the end occurs simply because Miranda (sparingly) evokes the past and future in her introduction and conclusion. Thanks for a delightful story, Miranda!

Jesus' post, "The Autobiography of Laslow G. Boniface, III (as told to J. Corona, his neighbor)"
Jesus' writing about Laslow achieves a tremendous amount of clarity in a highly creative format. I love the way this post is divided into short sections - formal techniques such as this one, which are atypical, have come to be labeled as "innovative". Don't be afraid to attempt innovative techniques yourselves... section breaks, lists, and changes in point of view are all innovative, and can create a fantastic reading experience depending on subject matter. (For example, imagine writing a post in response to Prompt 6 called "How to be a Thirteen Year Old Girl", written in a sequence of 20 points on a list. This, if written as an autobiography of, for instance, a kid sister, would be a creative way to convey who she is.) Thanks, Jesus, for teaching us about innovation and personal style in writing! Best yet, your form contains your content wonderfully. I love learning at the end of this piece that the young boy has trouble differentiating reality from the imagined. The brevity of your sections helps to highlight the many quirky details: in Chapter 1, we learn about Laslow's ex-imaginary friend named Carbon Dating Manatee and in Chapter 4, we learn about his plans to wear a sweater vest for the rest of his life - this is too funny. You also teach us, Jesus, that the subjects we choose can entirely effect the successfulness of our writing... your writing is uniquely enjoyable, but so is Laslow himself. Thanks for writing a hilarious and witty autobiography!

Rebecca's post, "Sugar and Cinnamon"
Just as Miranda created a story in recalling her childhood kitchen, Rebecca used the opportunity of the prompt to do the same. This is such an enjoyable story to read! Rebecca's use of point of view brings us into the consciousness of her child self, and allows us to experience the type of excitement, panic, and relief that is accurate to such an event in a child's life. Best is her use of description... I like how she chose to remember one particular, especially evocative food. Doing so allows us to observe an experience of, what we like to call, "comfort food" or "soul food". Rather than using sentimental language to describe the experience of this comfort food, Rebecca allows a reader to experience it ourselves. The tenderness shared between herself, her sisters, and her mother become palpable, and so does the warmth and cozyness of that kitchen. This is the power of great description and specific storytelling: it causes a reader to feel something, which is task we can't easily pull off if a telling is summarized or sentimental. Notice, also, how Rebecca's plot is forwarded through representations of the protagonist's feelings. A feeling of introduction is created when she experiences excitement, a middle is created when she experiences panic/shame, and a conclusion is created when she experiences relief and bliss. Thanks, Rebecca, for showing us how an emotional journey and strong description can create a cohesive and lovely story.

Kayla's post, "Autobiography of Jillian Hannah"
What this post illustrates, which is advanced and quite difficult to pull off, is what I like to call "wisdom writing". Typically, readers like to be shown (through description, dialogue, etc), not told, a story. Readers are also typically offput when they're told what to believe, what to do, or what's right/wrong by a writer. By stepping into the shoes of a particularly inspirational character, Kayla "earns" the right to convey wisdom about humanity-in-general and about life experiences like suffering and perseverance. In her introduction, she writes, "What differs between all us dreamers is the way we react when... plans fall through and we are forced to adjust." She than allows Jillian to admit, "I was one of those people who took a while to adjust." As we continue to read, it becomes apparent that Jillian is a survivor of extreme physical illness and that, as she learned to accept her situation, persevered to re-create joy, hope, and strength. Best, in this story, is the writing of the voice of Jilian. As readers, we perceive the voice as authentic. Kayla also did a wonderful job writing details about Jilian's situation, especially through the beginning and middle of her writing: we get to "see" a profound event in Jilian's life, and get to visit her thoughts as she worked through life changes. Thanks for sharing this with us, Kayla!

Writing Tip of the Week:
Do you know about spellcheck on Blogger? When you finish writing a post, click on the button at the top of your post writing screen that says "ABC". It appears on the same row that allows you to post pictures or change fonts... pressing this button will create a series of highlight marks across your text, notifying you of spelling errors.

Week 2: Meeting Your Peer Groups & Greatest Hits

Dear class

With Week 1 behind us, you now have a solid foundation for the rest of the course. Your blog will be a primary visitation spot - a place for you to post your new reflective writing. Your blogs are also the primary place for the community of the class. You are encouraged to visit classmates' blogs frequently, and to informally contact students who's writing you enjoy. You can do this by either leaving comments on their blog posts or by sending them emails via Blackboard.

With drop/add being completed, we also have our final course roster. Certain late added students may not yet have blogs up. Also, certain enrolled students may be in the process of withdrawing. This means, it'll take another week or so to become certain of who will be participating actively in your peer groups, which are now listed in the margin of the class blog site. If a late added student doesn't yet have a blog up, I've added them to peer groups tentatively, with an asterisk (*) next to their name. You won't see a link to their blogs in this case, and shouldn't worry to review them unless the asterisk comes down.

Being in a peer group gives you an opportunity to read and be read. At the beginning of each week, you'll get to read the writing others in your group have created as a response to prompts. As you read, you'll keep your own blog open and set to "New Post". For each group member, you will offer one long paragraph (5-6 sentences) of feedback or more. Generalized messages such as "I liked this" are welcome but will not be counted towards the 5-6 sentences of required constructive feedback. Use page 6 of your syllabus and chapter 7 of your textbook to offer academic level constructive critique.

Below is an example of what a successful peer review post would look like:

(Blog Title) Week 5 Peer Review

Patrick: I enjoyed your blog posts from last week. I can tell you're working hard to improve your story structure, and last week, it really showed. All three of your posts had a really strong introduction and conclusion. Your post titled, "College Horror Story", was my favorite because you included specific details about characters and made them really vivid. I almost thought I was watching a group of my own friends go through the events because you made them relatable. In "Too Much Caffeine", you spent a lot of time developing character but I don't think you needed to do that. That post seemed to be more about who you are and what you're doing, and the interesting writing had more to do with what you were thinking at the time, not what was around you. On page 101 of the textbook, there's a section called "An Overabundance of People", and it does a good job of describing the basic problem I had with that post. I also appreciated "Big Bang" because you talked about things you'd learned in your science class in a really personal way. It worked great as a metaphor for all the changes you've been experiencing in college.

Dierdre: Thanks for the great critique last week! It helped me make some positive changes in my writing for this week. I always laugh when I read your blog posts. In "Open Air", you wrote dialogue really well, and what your soccer coach was saying was hilarious! I think your dialogue worked best for me because you also had really good description of setting and characters. It was almost like watching a movie. That being said, the overall story lacked focus. I felt like I was reading a small piece of a larger story, where the writer didn't give me an introduction or conclusion. I could see it being a really funny section in a longer essay. There were no posts for Thursday so I've only critiqued your post from Tuesday.

Kris: I liked your posts last week. They brought back a lot of memories of my own childhood experiences! I thought "Kindergarten Blues" was really fun to read because the voice you used and the details you wrote brought me right into the mind and world of a child. That being said, I think using present tense and the voice of a child made certain things confusing. For instance, in the section where you described an unknown man approaching, I didn't know if I was supposed to be concerned and scared for the child (since it was a stranger, and as adults, we know that could be trouble), or excited (since you were describing things in a fun, laid back way). With clarification, it would be an even more amazing story. I also liked "Downtown" and "After the Rain", which used the similar setting of your childhood home in Chicago. I could imagine your writing a really long personal essay where you transition between multiple memories, including the ones in "Downtown" and "After the Rain", in a similar way to Elizabeth Gilbert in "Eat, Pray, Love". "Downtown" was a little long, though, and it lost my interest during the lengthy description of buildings. Maybe you can cut that description down to just two or three examples and use more exciting language to describe. "After the Rain" didn't seem to fit the writing prompt very well because you were supposed to write about a time in your life when you were afraid and instead you talked about a happy experience.

I hope this example clarifies what your work will be as you offer peer review through the semester.

Your other assignments this week follow similar criteria to work from last week: you have more Writing Prompts, more reading, and another Writer's Journal assignment. Completing your assignments for this week will give you a relatively accurate sense of how a typical work week for the course will go for the rest of the semester. I hope it's an enjoyable effort for you.

Each week, you'll check back to the class blog site, where you'll receive any notes of clarification or explanation from me, as needed (though, from here on out, you'll rarely need those), and where you'll receive some feedback on the previous week's assignments. Each week, I'll put a spotlight on several pieces of writing from the week before. I call this response "Greatest Hits", in which your own personal best is recognized in such a way that the entire class can learn and appreciate your writing. By midway through the semester, all of your work will have been mentioned at least once.

Below are some "Greatest Hits" from last week, and thanks to everyone for sharing some incredible work.

Greatest Hits

Kimberly's post, "Observing the Countryside"
Kimberly gives gorgeous description of a mundane place: her home office. Because of precisely chosen details, it doesn't take Kimberly long to move us from the office space she shares with her husband, to the neighborhood outside, or from morning to evening. She even moves us between entire seasons in such a short span of writing, and she does so successfully. In the evening, working parents round up and herd their children back into their homes "like so many bawling calves"; this line, like many others, brings us from a place of observation to a place of feeling. She foreshadows a time where things will be "far too quiet". In this way, a powerful emotional resolution is built into a short description of place: a reader feels loss that a certain type of beauty, as recognized by Kimberly, might one day be absent. This is a beautiful example of descriptive writing. The prose is as elegant as it is clear.

Brandon's post, "He is Ten Years Old"
In this post, Brandon uses description of character as a way to reflect on the relationship he shares with his dog, Apollo. Brandon's dog, we quickly learn, has been diagnosed with cancer and has just months to live. Topics such as this one are difficult to write well. This is because a writer is often unable to detach emotionally in order to write a story that's accessible to readers. In this piece, however, Brandon manages to write a successful story, primarily by focusing on character description and physical description of his Apollo. Rather than being overly sentimental or romanticizing his dog, he trusts a reader to love a creature that nearly edges the author out of bed and snuggles with him, before a "prompt fart and swift exit through the door". Lines such as "he is and always will be my boy" are more sentimental, but are earned when followed by lines such as "this love for him is not without complications" and the above mentioned descriptions of farting and whatnot. Writers: keep in mind that sentimentality such as this must be earned and ought not be used as a primary strategy of reflective writing. Thanks, Brandon, for earning it through your use of great, specific details.


(a picture of another Apollo, in honor of Brandon's pup)

Jamie's post, "Hangout Paradise"
In this description of place, Jamie uses an interesting style. Her writing is a great reminder that not all successful writing is verbose at it's best, and that brevity can create it's own pleasurable world. Jamie begins, "Everyone's in line, everyone's eager." This opening line does the work of ten lines of description, not just because of it's generalized comment, but because of it's lyric quality. Short lines often create a cadence like music. The confidence of her tone suggests we ought to trust this writer, even when she does choose to generalize or assume. Her short, precise sentences - some of which are even fragments - work beautifully to construct the consciousness of a person who is realistic, to the point, observant, and smart. It tells us as much about the writer as the situation. It also works beautifully to construct a scene and situation quickly. Part of the work of a writer is to keep a reader's interest; Jamie has discovered a personal style in which that's possible.

Good work Brandon, Jamie, and Kimberly! And good work to the rest of you, as well... next week, we'll spend some time looking at other authors' wonderful writing.

Enjoy the week!

-AP

My Mini-Memoir

Hi class! Thanks for sharing yourselves in writing your mini-memoirs! I enjoyed everything from posted pictures of girlfriend's dogs to descriptions of family and hobbies. I'm excited to continue getting to know you - this is an amazing group, with some terrific stories to share! I love your blogs... they have a powerful presence already. Here, I'll share with you a brief introduction to who I am...

The Present World

When I was a little girl growing up in New York, I was told never to tell lies. My parents, both of whom had immigrated from India several years before I was born, told me a white lie themselves as a way of teaching me not to. If I insisted that I was telling the truth when my mother or father suspected otherwise, I was asked, "Amisha... are you sure you're telling the truth? Because if you're not, a hole will burn through my hand." With those words, a hand was held out to me, palm outstretched, and I'd quickly surrender. "Ok, I did do that," I would admit, and take on any punishment offered, consoled that no holes were burned through any hands on my account.

My name, "Amisha", means "honesty", in Sanskrit. Beyond the lessons of my childhood, I am that. In the way names have of taking on subconscious power, my own name has come to define an ethic of kindness and honesty that I uphold in both my personal and professional life. As a child, my experiments with honesty had more to do with getting out of trouble or earning and keeping friends. I observe the same push and pull between what's right and what's easy in the actions of my future stepchildren, an eight year old girl named Elise, and an almost-ten year old boy named Malachi. Malachi experiences the world through the universe of Asperger's syndrome and ADHD. He doesn't know what lying is. When asked why he's lying, when he lies, he becomes defiant. He believes you are supposed to say what an adult wants to hear so they will leave you alone. He has become an experienced actor amongst the rest of us, who so easily know how to maneuver the planet Earth. Despite this difficulty, he has many virtues and is well-loved.

I hadn't realized, til I became close to these children, how my own ethic of honesty had pushed me into a place of unsympathy for those who have a different nature. I thought honesty was the only method of non-deceit, and that honesty was love. If a friend called and told me she wanted us to go shopping after telling me she was having financial difficulties, I would tell her, "No. I love you too much to let you get into more debt." But sometimes, compassion is wiser than truth. What if, instead of putting down my friend, I suggested, "Actually, I was just making lunch. Why don't you come over and eat with me?" Or, what if I just accepted her for who she was? I've been learning, through the hard work of almost-motherhood, which has boomeranged into my life because I fell in love (I've come to believe that this is a status that never, ever "saves you" in the way of fairy tales, but challenges you to become better), that honesty is love: quiet, accepting, and patient.

me & Elise

Malachi

my fiance, Ryan, posing in his "Three Wolves & a Moon" shirt